THE GLASS

 Break the Glass!,
so I can stumble out of this cup of misery that holds my soul, bound.

This is the prayer I've prayed for a thousand years;
Yet, I'm stuck between the walls of this glass and my blinding pain.

Every dawn, my mind is startled awake.
I'm afraid to open my bruised lids.
But then, if I shut them for too long, they may never again, Lift.

Sitting up slowly, I pushed against the glass, bidding it break,
for i needed its assistance to break my unsteady fall.

'Who is this?', You wonder.
I am she!
The lost, the bruised, the broken.
I live within every woman missused.
I have sought for deliverance, but,
I've had shame painted on my smears, and boots stuck in my side, for my trouble.

Break the Glass!!,
so I may stumble out of this hold- Prison
where my lips have been sealed that no ear ever tells of what it beheld.

Take these shackles off my feet, so I can be free
Release my soul from the abuse of its reality.
Wipe the tears off my swollen cheeks,
Cleanse my blackened heart from the bitterness it witholds.

The moment I accepted the lure of his sin,
like the famous rat, the cheese.
I was trapped, held fast within the spring and the coil.
I was unable to free myself.
My frightened jerks, and breathless twists only sealed my fate.
Since then, I have become the typical Lazarus,
begging for scraps under the table.
My sores have become lubricant for the four-legged maammals.
I welcome the cooling of their tongue on my battered body.
My pain is like a novel written on my face,
still the readers only shake their heads, and pray that their children do not become me.


(INTERLUDE- In the PROCESS of TIME...)


The sunset brought with it a canary yellow promise of hope.
I held unto it, even when the black of night hid the glimpse behind.
My eyes stayed woke, as I awaited the dawn.
When she came, I released the flitting fly of hope into the dew of her promise.

There was a clash!
And then a blend.
Now certain, I pushed against the glass, and it shattered.
I stepped into the dust of its debris, and welcomed the prick of a stray embedded in my feet.
It made my stale blood flow, and my weak wings soar.

I jumped down a cliff and like I afore knew, I was lifted into the hands of THE HEALER.
My past pain, I discovered, is worth this heaven.

Thank you God, for heaven at last...

I LOST THE SUN.

 I LOST THE SUN.

I stood in the midst of the woods

like a page out of little red riding hood,

my flint on the ground my hands steady,

I struck a match and…

I lost the sun.

I stretched out beside the fire.

Its heat, my hands to warm...

Its light, my fear to ease...

But, I didn’t know I was deep in a mire

For before I could relax,

I lost the sun.

Asleep, yet awake

A sturdy soldier, I could never make...

My back rested on the tree,

My head on my chest,

As the crickets beat a steady drum on my knee...

I counted hours, while minutes crawled

I prayed for day, but night stayed,

And when dawn was come....

I lost the sun.

Gbooosh!!

I heard a loud noise,

and with it, a cacophony of voices.

I turned, frantic, a refuge to seek.

In my panic, I called out

but all I heard was naught

My fear arose

And…….

I lost the sun.

How did I wander?

I began to ponder...

For I was safe

In the refuge of the cave.

There, light was ever,

and the chill of darkness never.

It is an irony,

The idea, corny..

I stepped out of it, and….

I lost the sun.

Where is my lover?

In his arms, I want for no other.

Why did I leave his arms to run into the hell of the wild?

Tell my lover, I seek him,

I want to be close to his heart.

For the moment I stopped hearing it’s beat...

I lost the sun.

The forest was unfathomable...

My determination, indefatigable.

My desperation, inestimable

As I sought my inamoroto…

The voices closed around me.

My life, they threatened to steal

I walked, I ran, I flew

and in my despair, I only knew

I’d lost the sun.

I ran into a clearing

My steps anything but stealth.

The thorns, my skin, did tear

The dust, my face, did smear

I looked up, and there on a hill

was my lover, dying for me.

The tears came unbidden;

Its track on my cheeks, not hidden.

For at a place I’d least expect,

I found the SON.

The sharps rocks tore my feet

but I didn’t feel its prick.

My concern was for my lover

His suffering, I couldn’t bear

I knelt at foot of the cross

Where He’d been crucified

His wounds I wasn’t allowed to nurse.

Although they were for me and mine

He whispered, AND IT THUNDERED

"Though I’d been murdered

I’m here because I Love you"

His words were to my soul a balm

For in a place I did least expect...

I FOUND THE SON.

#Grace.

Word'S' Series - Speechless, Serene, and Surrender.

SPEECHLESS,
was my action when he delivered me
I opened my eyes and beheld he reality of my fantasy
fairy tales and joyful ballads told of old,
became the picture I couldn't help but behold
I asked the only plausible question
"am i dead?"
 The smile of my saviour made my blood hum.
'No. You're safe". He replied
and I wept...

SERENE,
is His presence about me...
Daily, He shows me how much I matter
and I wonder,
'isn't this an alternate universe?'
I'm the saved.
How then does my saviour care more?.
There are no answer to my questions.
There is only the knowledge that I am Loved with an everlastng love.
I shiver at the realization that i will never again, be alone.

SURRENDER,
is my status of limitation.
Beyond this, i do not exist.
For i gave m all to HIM.
And forever,
My knees, to HIM will kneel.
My hands, to HIM will raise.
My head, to HIM will bow'
My eyes, to HIM will lift.
My heart, to Him will worship.

I signed the document
JESUS has the original copy.

#owned
#RjayGrace.

THE LABEL

THE LABEL

I sat in the corner and looked at my mates thriving under the intensity of the sun. It’s rays brightened their smiles, and the reflection spun Gold like Rumpelstiltskin’s spindle. I wished to catch it’s beauty, but to add to my ugly.

I heard snickering and whispers. My eyes focused, and I saw them pointing at me and laughing. My mind heard what my ears couldn’t. “That girl is odd!!” “And weird”, “and somehow”, “o di ka skoi skoi a pu go ya n’isi!!”- It’s terrible interpretation is that I was crazy.

I looked down at myself… I tried to wipe my ugly with the tail of my dress, but it had stuck to me like the sea anemone to the shark. Its claws had become rooted in my roots. That was when I realized,- I’d just been labelled!!!

I could hear me tell myself, “and the label becomes you”.

I fought to climb out of the pit that I’d become accustomed to. The darkness shrouded the little light I had imagined.
I sought to be free, but I was stuck underneath.
IT HAD ME!!

I just wanted to end the torture. My flailing arms had been ignored by people; their stampede left my body bruised and bleeding.

HOPE WAS PUT OUT, like a candle light.
I WAS NO MORE!!!

My soul clung to my body- this feat accomplished by neither my will or desire (for i had none), but by a FORCE i couldn’t comprehend.

HE slapped feeling back into my cheeks, and fed my lips with water.
HE reached out, pulled me up, and gave support to my unsteadiness. 
HE positioned the ladder, and urged my painful, climb out of the pit.
HE reached out to shield me from the rowdy crowd, and carried me to safety.

SAFE- SAFETY- SALVATION.

HE offered a PRICE i couldn’t refuse- DEATH; I longed for it.

HE promised a RESTORATION I couldn’t believe- THE CROSS; I never expected it.

HE gave a GIFT that brought my pride down- GRACE; I was speechless!!!

I took the card…. Here I am… No more in the corner, but in the CENTER. I’m soaking up this sun, and its a party in here- RAINBOW COLOURS mehn!!!!

I am a MISFIT! That’s a fact.
I am DIFFERENT! That’s an achievement.
I AM THE DAUGHTER OF THE KING OF KINGS- Now, that’s THE LABEL.
– a burden I want… Need to bear.

#thinkingtooloud

TORCH

TORCH

Guide me to the light with the flame that lit your wet stick

Guide to the place where I can dream without the fear

Guide me, oh flame, to the time where I can speak of my pain

For today, I’m again stuck within my lips and unable to scream my misery

The dawn had brought a temporal relief from the demons that fight my slumber.

“Come away with me, little one. I’ll show you a game to ponder”. 

The voice called out to me, and my innocent mind failed to hear its evil

Misery woke me up with a start and my fingers failed to rub the smear from my lids.

When will I partake of the fun-fare the bright light brings in the night

I am again locked in the cocoon of my own arms, and my tired eyes sees salvation as a mountain I could never climb.

My situation awoke depression,

I began to dwell on the dearth that is my circumstance

I pondered, and bam!, there came a solution.

I picked a knife, and put it on my wrist just like I saw on the television

Back and forth

Back and forth

I strengthened my hold

But my veins refuse to open up for my dirtied blood to flow

I walked to school, again safe in the dreary dark of my mind

I saw the big truck coming and walked towards it so it could befall me

I blinked and I was back on the sidewalk, 
watching the truck’s ride merrily down the slope

Death ran from my open arms and evaded my wanting calls.

Thinking again of a way to beat nature’s hero, I set my mind to best her bravado

And… suddenly… a ray of bright snuck into my daydream

“I love you” was the voice. 

It spake to me.

Never before have I felt the power of those words, and my defenses stood to pull down their potency.

“I love you”

“I love you”

They came,

a litany, 
and then a mantra, 

drowning my lethargy.

They went inside me and swept me clean of my burdens.

The Word bled for me, giving His life for mine

He purged my filth and pulled down my defenses.

My slate was wiped, and my tears, dried.

My phlegm infested throat gave way for the music he brought to my soul

And I sang “amazing grace, how sweet the sound, the sweetest song I know”.